Relationship Selling or Selling a Relationship

When Patch Adams confronted the entire medical history and conformity in regards to the treatment of terminal patients he was pondering some questions such as:

·         Why are we so afraid of death? What’s so wrong with it?

·         How come we are afraid to get involved with the patient?

Took me quite a long time to accept the fact that I am a sales person. For years I shied away from it and found creative ways to go around it. An account manager, a relationship manager, client manager whatever, anything but sales.

Why? Why is that world so scary for so many people out there? Is it that image of a slimy, greasy looking person who would say anything in order to get the sale? Is it the notion of a mercenary who will work for anyone who pays more no matter what the cause is? Perhaps Arthur Miller instilled a dreadful image in our minds as kids while reading “The death of a salesman”.

Honestly I am not really sure about the answer but you all know it’s there and it goes back a long way.

So I’ve gone through much sales training, different methodologies and approaches. Each one taught me something and I embraced quite a few lessons along the way. The one thing though that kept creeping in the back of my mind were those same kinds of questions:

·         Why am I so afraid of the sale? What’s so wrong with it?
·         How come I am so afraid of getting involved with the customer? Getting to know them and open myself up.

Now those of you who know me know that I am generally a very open guy and so it happened a few years ago…

It was after closing another deal. Been working on this deal for almost 6 months. We walk back the customer and I from a celebratory lunch and about to part ways. During lunch, just moments ago I shared some personal stories. Nothing too deep but it included sharing pictures of loved ones and such. He shared his kids’ pictures as well and it felt nice. For those few minutes we didn't think about the sale, the commission, the implementation but just enjoying getting to know the person in front of us.

So we are saying goodbye and I reach my hand out. He pauses for a second, looks me in the eye, leans forward and gives me a big warm hug. Not one of those tapping on your back hugs. Not one of these where one hand shakes and the other hugs. Two hands, heart to heart hug. Something between a deep thank you and I really appreciate you.

Needless to say there was no need to say anything. I hugged him back, we both smiled at each other and I left.

Ever since that hug, we have become much closer. I know things about him and his life and he knows about mine. We exchange gifts, greeting cards etc. And yes, each time we meet…we hug.

I ask myself….what’s wrong with that?
Some colleagues urge me to keep the distance saying “keep it professional” and “what happens if he decides to go to another vendor?” And I say…SO WHAT???
What if he does? What’s so bad about that?

You see, I believe in being who you are. In opening up. What you see is what you get and wearing your heart on your sleeve. I admit that this way it will be harder for the customer to go to another vendor and if you maintain the relationship as such, you will get a much deeper insight into the customer’s world which will help you in the overall sale. But for me it is much simpler than that – it is being a person. Getting to know another person. Hopefully you believe in what you sell which will get you to even feel that you are helping your customer. Worst case scenario you got to know another good person.

And so along the years I am collecting customers. People. And hugs. But recently, and a lot thanks to the type of greetings I received on my birthday a few weeks back, I realized I am collecting friends.

Win – win!

So I decided to go on a crusade to change that positioning of a sales person. It is time we embrace the title and go back to the root of it. Where a sales person assists his/her customers and yes, develops relationships. I urge you all to try it. Open up, get personal...be a sales person.

Patch Adams claimed that if you treat the disease you may win or you may lose but if you treat the patient, you will always win, no matter what the consequences are.

I found myself last week opening up to a customer I just met.
Got me thinking – if I treat the sale I may win or I may lose, but if I treat the relationship I will always win no matter if I do close the sale or not.

So call me the Patch Adams of sales if you want but here I am, Alon Zaibert…a Sales Person who sells…well…relationships.

Bring it!