Seriously!!! If you can’t PRAY do not SPRAY!

I was supposed to wait till next week for another post but just could not hold back. This one is one of those “just fell into my laps” from one very frustrated reader who asked me to suggest a response.

This story is around email marketing. Trying to get to as many leads as possible often leads to a Spray and Pray method. 

The problem is when you over generalize you miss too many targets and sometimes even create damage. In this case, a MARKETING COMPANY (!!!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!!) actually sent this email campaign below and OH MY GOD!!! 

As a short background, this person who asked my suggested reply is heading a sales team in the software world out of Dallas, Texas (Go Mavs!) and here is the email he received. Word for word…

Dear XXX,

 I hope you are doing well.

My Name is XXX & I represent XXX, a leading End to End Marketing Life Cycle Management services provider.

We primarily function as the B2B Data back office of leading Technology companies, B2B publishers ,Information companies and B2B Marketing agencies the US, providing a steady flow of Prospect databases, Qualified Leads, Account Profiles, et al. We currently service companies like XXX, XXX, et al., who require customized B2B Prospecting services.

 XXX specializes in: 

     #   B2B Prospect Uncovering / Contact Discovery

     #   Updating & Enriching B2B CRM Databases (Master Data Management )

     #   White Paper Opt-ins

     #   Attendee Registration for Webinars

     #   Setting up prospects on trials, appointment scheduling, Lead qualification, Lead Generation and Lead nurturing.

     #   Account Profiling ( & Competitor Intelligence Reports )

     #   Pitch Deck / Power Point helpdesk

So XXX, I would greatly appreciate if you can accommodate a brief meeting slot, my colleague Ms. XXXXXX [General Manager - Business Development] would like to take this opportunity to meet you at your office to showcase our capabilities within B2B Prospect Uncovering and Marketing services. We were very keen to discuss how XXXX services would benefit your organization in terms of boosting ROI, Profits and Controlling Costs in greater detail. Alternatively you can suggest a time for a quick teleconference at a time slot that best suits your calendar.

 Look forward to your response/confirmation,

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Dear XXX,

Just want to confirm if you had an opportunity to review my earlier mail. I understand you must be extremely busy but will greatly appreciate your feedback here.

We would highly appreciate your suggestion on time slot that best suits your diary for any day from 09th Sept to 20th Sept 2013 where my senior colleague Ms. XXX - Business Development Manager will be glad to meet you in your office, you can be rest assured the time spent by you will be productive.

 We look forward to meet you soon.

 Have a Lovely Long Weekend and Labour Day Holiday XXX. J

 Thanks and regards,
XXXXXXX| Business Development Manager
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX. Ltd
Location - New York, London, Mumbai
Email: XXXXX@XXXX.com | Web: www.XXXXXX.com

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Being a big Seinfeld fan I immediately thought of this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QRh1CMC3OVw

And hence, here is my suggested reply:

Dear XXXX,

Thank you for reaching out.

I cannot tell you how disappointed I was to see such a great company like yours sending such a poorly executed marketing email like the one below.

I do not appreciate different font sizes in one email (when it is unintentionally), I do not appreciate misspells (that’s right, here in the US it is Labor Day and not Labour day and even I as a non-American knows that), I do not appreciate bad email structure (yes, UI does mean a lot on emails as well), I do not appreciate bad grammar…et-al (or at all)…and I do believe Anne Frank wrote a Diary, I am using a CALENDAR!!

So, if you still think you are so good at what you do, and per YOUR suggestion you want to meet me in MY office, I will be available on September 17^th at 10am EST in my Dallas, TX office as I am not located in NY.

Let me know.

I doubt you will hear from them again!

As the new Managing Director in Sales at Cornerstone Information Systems I promise to work as hard as I can to learn from the above!

And on a personal note – be attentive, after all it is our customers who are paying our salary!!

AZ

Product + Service = EXPERIENCE

Yes, you must have a good product! No argument there! And a good product by itself is not enough either. Today, a superb customer service is expected along with a great product. This my friends is what I call Experience and this ladies and gentlemen, is what we should all strive for.

When I went to school in NY for my B.S in Business/Marketing I was working as a tour guide. Leading a loaded bus from Manhattan through the finger lakes region into Niagara Falls, then to Toronto, the Thousand Islands and back to NYC and then to the nation’s capital for an additional 2 days tour of all the amazing monuments and memorials (Not too long ago, in Paris, pouring rain stuck in traffic I used those tour guide skills with a few of you which was one of those…..you just had to be there…).

There were about 4 other companies in town offering the same tour and let me tell you- the product was GREAT!! Modular tour, you could choose to get on just the Niagara part or only the D.C option or the whole week experience. Inexpensive, fun and joyful. The customer service for the most part was also pretty good. A babysitting tour guide to be there every step of the way, a courteous bus driver, decent hotels and more.

We used to have a fierce non-written competition between us tour guides as to who knows more details about the different sites we would visit. One would say the CN tower is 523 meters high and the other would look it up and find in a different book that it is actually 525 meters high. A tour guide claims the fine for sailing down the Niagara Falls is $10,000 and another will correct him saying it is actually $12,500. This became our pride but more so we really believed that this excessive knowledge was the difference for the travelers. My office started getting calls from potential travelers asking to go on a trip but ONLY with “that tour guide called Alon”. Naturally I was flattered and when the first one approached me confessing to the fact they demanded to get on the bus with me I asked in a very nonchalant way if those who referred them told them about my amazing knowledge of the details. They looked at each other oddly, turned to me and said:” WHAT? NO!! It is because of the dancing on the bus, the jokes, the caring and the way you treat your travelers – they had an amazing Experience”.

After that, if anyone would ask any detail about any monument I would still know everything there is to know about it but would know that they are there for the Experience. They are there for the ride!

Last week I received a note through Facebook from someone who was on one of those buses some 15 years ago and told me he was looking at some pictures and it brought tears to his eyes remembering how much fun they had on that trip.

So whether you are selling clothes, fish, software, hardware or just services make sure you have a great product and an amazing customer service yet bundle it together with an unbelievable experience because this is what they want and this is how they will remember you. I guarantee you that YOUR experience will be different as well.

I just joined Cornerstone Information Systems and I cannot wait to take some new passengers on this bus ride with me.

And on a personal note - it really is all about the relationship, so do not be afraid to make it so.

Just my opinion…