1 week notice...

I am a morning person. I wake up early. And like most of us, after the biological necessities I go to check emails. So the other day I see an email from one of my customers with a subject: “status check on the XXX issue”. Now you may know by now that I am a freak of customer service and ”being there” for the customers (one of the 4 elements of the Fish Philosophy) so I go right to it. Going through the email, the customer seems agitated and asks about that issue we discussed during our call 3 weeks ago. Nothing crazy, no threats to cancel the service just asking. Basically saying – I haven’t heard anything about it for 3 weeks, what’s up?

Wait…..3 weeks ago…?

Those who know me know that at this point I get itchy. I get itchy because it goes back AGAIN to communication. In previous posts I talked about the magic circle of good communication with closing the loop with feedback. Not a rocket science, just common sense and some basic intelligence. Not getting back to the customer with a status update for 3 weeks is unacceptable! Period! I don’t care if you won the lottery during that time, if your wife gave birth or if you had to go save the rain forests.

UNACCEPTABLE!

1 week notice! This is the maximum period of time before the customer, and any one of us for any other matter starts wondering what’s going on and this is where the problem lays.

You see, It is a fact that when us, humans, when we do not know the status of a specific situation, we fill in the gaps. We assume. We make up stories in our minds to make sure there is something there. We are by nature an impatient specie and add to that the gossip factor and the fact that most people’s instinct is to go first for the negative option only problems you get.

So what happened? And we've all been there. We had a nice update call with the customer and at the end of the call we had some follow up items. The account manager and the technical support person were to take it off line, discuss and get back to the customer. I went on to my world and forgot about the issue. By definition it is the Account Manager’s responsibility as the “owner” of the relationship with this customer.

After the call 3 weeks ago the customer put that item aside in his mind trusting his Account Manager on our side to take care of the issue and update him if necessary. A week goes by, 2 weeks and then…a management meeting for the customer where his boss goes with him through some ongoing projects and…oooops….what’s the status OF THAT PROJECT?? This is where the customer is getting mad at us, starts blaming us and sends an irritated email.

3 weeks later and here is the email from the customer. The first thing to irritate me is the fact that it is the customer who inquires about it and not us who are updating him. Once you get to a point, with any communication, where the customer is inquiring about the issue you are already in a psychological deficit. Why get there? Make sure you communicate with the customer (especially when there are open items) once a week (and feel free to go back to my previous post “E T Freaking A”).

So I pick up the phone to the Account Manager to find out what happened (and no, I don’t care it is 7am. If the customer is up and asking at this time so will we). “Well, I didn't have anything new to update the customer on as the technical guy didn’t get back to me yet”.

Just a reminder, I am on my way to take my morning shower, not fully awake just yet…

Everything went blurry for a minute. Last thing I remember is my wife hovering over me saying “deep breaths honey, deep breaths…”

Let me ask you something Mr. Account Manager. If your 4 year old kid didn't get anything to eat at the day care for 3 weeks(!!!) because they ran out of whole wheat bread, your kid’s favorite, and when you call the teacher she says that as you know they ran out and the folks at the catering service haven’t updated her….wouldn't you go ballistic???

Why didn't you tell me??? I would have gone to the grocery store myself and bought the damn bread but 3 weeks?? And you haven’t notified me? And my kid didn't have lunch? 3 weeks??

That’s what you need to keep in your mind Mr. Account Manager! This is how the customer, your customer, the one who pays your freaking salary feels. Like his/her kid has not eaten lunch for 3 weeks!

1 week notice! If you have nothing to tell the customer after a week…tell them that! And a week later again if needed. And if after 3 weeks you do not get the solution you need than there is an issue with your technical support department but that’s a completely different issue.

1 week notice! Believe me, it will save you so much trouble.

Hey, you got nothing to lose so go ahead, just try it….and remember that poor little hungry kid who hasn’t eaten for 3 weeks….

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               On the plane again back home after a week on the road in London. Besides the constant weather of 150 shades of grey in London all went pretty well.

2 days conference. 9 to 5 booth camp. Don't they realize even I cannot be overly nice to everyone for that long...?

Day 2, a bit slow, I tell my colleagues I am going to attend this one pitch. Perhaps besides just giving my back a break I may even learn a thing or two. I chose a specific presentation which seemed to potentially possess the right combination of titles - the title of the presenter as well as the presentation. Session starts at 2pm and I am thinking to myself it is a perfect timing as it is right after lunch so no one will be hungry and right after lunch so no one will be tired just yet.

5 minutes to ShowTime and there is no one empty seat. Some impatient buzzing among the audience and then he shows up. Vibrant, smiling, dressed well. All of the elements for an amazing performance.

This is where I drift a bit in my writing and remind you dear reader about the ultimate combination of the What and the How. The content as well as the delivery.

You see, even if you are incredibly knowledgeable of history it does not make you good at teaching history. Even if you know your business extremely well it does not mean you can articulate it properly. The one who possesses both the What and the How is the one! The ultimate communicator.

So Mr. Title clears his throat while checking to make sure the mic is on, every one of the roughly 85 people quiets down, the title slide is on with the title of the presentation and Mr. Title starts introducing himself. I observe every move, every nuance, body language, eye contact. He is pretty good. I peak at my watch and realize Mr. Title has been at it for about 6 minutes now and the title on the slide, right underneath Mr. Title's title himself is still on the screen. Is it possible that he is the one? The ultimate communicator who will barely use the slides? The one who can combine the content with the delivery? But then I'm thinking....hang on, he's been at it for six...now seven minutes and didn't say one word related to the title. Of the presentation that is. I look around and people start checking out their phones, 3 people yawning and one even got up and left (very rude by the way). Time goes by and Mr. Title is still swirling around his background and...you guessed it...his title.

All in all....14 minutes before he started talking about the topic at hand. Let me spell it out - FOUR FREAKING TEEN!! Out of 1 hour session.

At this point I am still positive. Perhaps there is still a chance. 4 members of the audience I guess are not as optimistic, they pretend to be taking an important call and leave the room.

FOURTEEN minutes!!

The title slide is flipped. Looking at the slide I see on the top - his title (but of course) and a couple of bullets. Well-designed slide. 

And then, oh then it happened. Then Mr. Title surprised even me. I feel shivering down my spine. Perhaps I am imagining. Perhaps it is a typo. Maybe I simply cannot see well but it was there. Small. On the bottom left. The hara-kiri of the presenter, the ultimate showdown, the mother of all spoilers is there....

2 of 56

KILL ME NOW!! Are you kidding me?

A quick math - he will never make it. 5 more are drifting out the door.

Please, when you are preparing for a presentation, use fewer words and more pictures. And show how many slides you have on your deck ONLY if you have about 3 or 4 slides left. Just trust me on that.

2 of 56!!!!!!!!!

But hey...he had a great title.